Control
by So NOT Shy
Summary: I suffered a lot to get when i am today and this i my story
1. prolog

Prologue

"You never let me do _anything_ I want to do!" I shouted slamming my door.

"Don't slam doors in my house!" my Renee yelled back.

"Fuck you! You don't know me or what I go through." I hollered behind my closed door.

"What the hell did you just say to me!" she said in a threatening voice, walking quickly up the stairs.

"Open the door _now!" _she said menacingly.

"Go to hell and rot, you self centered bitch." I said, equally menacing.

I bet you're wondering what happened to make me to speak like this to my Renee…well she deserved it; she's a conniving, manipulative bitch! She tries to control my life, but I'm through with that shit, it's time to do me. I digress, let me start from the beginning…

It all started when I was twelve and she introduced me into the society of the rich and famous. When she met _him,_ she changed. She wanted to leave our old life behind for her new one. It was great for her, but for me it was a personal hell. She wanted me to be the perfect daughter, but that just wasn't me. I was a real person. I made mistakes, and I hated the fake Barbie bitches I was forced to hang out with; they were shallow and self centered. They cared for no one but themselves; they were your friends one second, and gossiping about you the next. All they did was shop and spend all of daddy's money; they didn't know what the real world was; they didn't know how it felt to struggle, to never have food, the power always out, or how it felt to never be warm at night. They didn't know what I went through, or that we were once poor. Renee made sure of that.

She was delusional if she thought it would last. She would sacrifice anything to be in this life style…even me. She didn't care what happened to me one way or another, as long as I had the right clothes, boyfriend, and hung out with the right people. She didn't want me to be an "embarrassment" to her.

"You need to be perfect Bella, flawless" she would always tell me. I had no control over anything in my life…except two things. The two things that _**I **_controlled in my life, the two things my Renee had no control or say over.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter one: _Family_ Time

Renee is such a poser. She knew good as well that she didn't want to spend time with me, and that I didn't want to be forced to hang out her or _him_ for that matter. "A family dinner Renee really?" I said in a whinny voice. "You knew that I already had plans with my friends."

"Well you're just going to have to cancel; we are having a family dinner at Chez Feu."

She said in a dismissive voice. _Ugh, she gets on my nerves, the stupid bitch. I can't believe she's forcing me to hang out with that bastard, we're not even related, and I hate him. I can barely tolerate your stuck up ass._

"Fine" I said with a huff. _She just wants to impress her friends with how _perfect_ our _family_ is. Stupid bitch I see right through you going to a restaurant you know your friends inhabit on this particular day. _

*At chez Feu*

"Welcome to Chez Feu how many?" the hostess asked in an overly polite voice. "Three" _he _said, managing to put so much arrogance into just that one word. _I hate him just the sound of his voice makes me want to slap the dog shit out of him. _We followed the hostess back to our table, and when we got there _he _pulled out my chair, finding an excuse to touch me _sick bastard_, then Renee's. Just after we were seated the waiter arrived.

"What can I get you to drink?" He said with an overly friendly smile, looking at me. _Ewwwww I think not, your sooo not my type bud. "_I'll have a glass of chardonnay" Renee said, not even looking up from the menu.

"I'll have scotch on the rocks" _he _said. _Ugh his voice make makes my skin crawl._

"Just water for me" I said with a small smile, trying to be polite. The waiter walked away and we studiously ignored each other and studied the menus for what felt like two hours, but was really more like two minutes, until the waiter returned with our drinks.

"Chardonnay for the lady, scotch for the gentleman, and water for you, ma'am" he listed. "Thank you" I said kindly, although _they_ said nothing.

"Can I get you'll an appetizer to start off with?" he asked.

"No, but we are ready to order" Renee said. "I'll have the baked chicken-no skin, lightly seasoned- with broccoli, and instead of the mashed potatoes, I want zucchini" Renee said in a snide voice.

"I'll have the steak medium rare, 7 oz" _He _said with a flourish _(The bastard). _"And I will have just a bacon burger and fries please." I said with another smile.

Renee tried to make small talk to impress her friends who were sitting at a table nearby, but no one was really into it. She continued on, and on about nothing and laughing about nothing, keeping up appearances. Then our food arrives. The waiter, Chad, as I saw his name was, served Renee first, then _Him,_ and finally me. Renee look over at my plate "you're not really going to eat all that are you?" she said with distain, scrunching up her face. Oh but I did, I ate every last morsel just to spite her, but I knew I would pay for it later. Pay dearly I did, as soon as I got home I headed straight for the bathroom, turned the dial on the tub as hot as it would go, headed straight for the toilet, and stuck my hand down my throat to purge myself of that god awful fatting food that I stuffed myself with.

"_You're such a pig, stuffing you face like that. D you not see how disgusting you are already are? So you not see the flab hanging off your stomach, thighs, legs, and let don't forget your ass, how large it is. Oink, oink, moo, moo."_

"Stop it, stop it!" I screamed at my inner voice. "Stop it!" I cry sobbing "Please, please stop"

"_Did you stop when you were shoving those greasy fries down your throat? Did you stop when you were eating that fatting burger? All those calories you ingested hmmmm. Was it worth it lard ass, was it?"_

I cried, and cried, for how long I don't know. I got up, and headed straight to the mirror _"Look at you" _my reflection told me. _"You're you shouldn't have had that burger and those greasy fries, all the fat you just ingested. Pig!" _I opened the mirror cabinet and pulled out a clean razor blade. "_Look at you poor pathetic little Aria, _such a tub of lard"

"Stop!" I screamed hysterically, but she never did, she always went on. "_Look at you, your own Renee doesn't even give two shits about you. How about your __**He**__—_

"Stop it" I scream hysterically slashing at my wrists. "Please make it stop" I sobbed pitifully "please – just please stop" I sobbed cutting deeper and deeper with each time. Finally it stopped, she was finished tormenting me, for the moment, satisfied now that she has done her damage.

I pick myself up off the ground to disinfect my wounds, crying out as silently possible. I looked down to assess the damage it was a lot worse than usual. '_Maybe_ _I should go to the hospital, and get these checked out' _a little voice in my head said to me. "No" I said with resolute to voice. "Shit!" I hissed when the peroxide hit my wounds.

I walk out from the bathroom as quietly as possible, so as not to wake anyone, and crawled under my purple flower print comforter. That night, like many others I cried into my pillow until I fell asleep.

*The next day*

My morning was not much better than my night; Renee harped at me about my appearance, as usual.

"Why don't you take better care of yourself?" she nagged insistently, "Jeans and a tee-shirt, you're a girl dress like one, and a little make-up never hurt anyone!"

She yelled after me as I ran up stairs to change.

"Stupid stuck up bitch," I mumbled under my breath "gawd she gets on my nerves!"

"You look horrible today." I mimicked. "It's just like get a life you vapid, stuck-up, arrogant, BITCH!" I screamed ranting to myself.

I changed nonetheless; I didn't want to hear her harping and making snide comments for the rest of the day.

"What are you plans for the day" Renee asked calmly, like noting ever happened. '_Sometimes I truly think she is psychotic.' _

"I am going to the mall with a few of my friends today" I replied with a slight attitude.

"That sounds nice dear," she said with a slight smile, "you can upgrade your wardrobe from the tacky things you call cloths"

I didn't even respond I walked out the house in a huff. "Ugh! Just be lucky I don't want to go to jail to day for assault again" I said in an angry huff.


End file.
